I’m soo scared of starting something on my own that I almost actively refuse to work on it. I need to get over this. For great things to happen a person has to put their all into it. It’s been like this through out history. Great things never happened through half assed efforts. I recently told jill to get over herself. I have to do the same. I’m the cause of my own demise.
So how am I going to deal with this? I think what needs to happen is that I have to change some personal philosophies of mine. I have to see my world as a bubble in which I am the driver and I decide where I go in life. So now I need to follow through. I’m soo sleepy, that things aren’t making sense.
Blah. I can’ t think of what I want to say. Put simply, I want to learn to see my goals and ideas as the most important thing in my world and thus the object of my constant attention and endeavor. This would result in me feeling awful when I’m not working towards it. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt.
I will try to work on something like this. Finish. And sell it. As well as push my agenda of a global network for Sephardi Jews.