Where do I stand?

Okay, so I still don’t really know what I want from my life. I have to start making moves soon because life is short. I’m confident that I can hold myself together through college now, thanks in large part to Jil. So far the idea of publishing a text book sounds very intriguing to me. I want to publish in Spanish for Ecuadorian Kids. Another thing I really want to do is start an Institute of Advanced Study. And lastly start a company. I’ve gotten so immersed in the idea that I want to go back to Ecuador that I haven’t continuously justified my reasoning for going there, which means that I only have a superficial understanding of what it means to go there and I really haven’t calculated the stakes that are at play. I think that’s my next step. I really need to know where I want to go and whether I’m capable of managing that and/or getting people to manage that. This winter is key.

College. Well, I think I’ve been pursuing the wrong major. I’m in the right subject just not the right area within the subject. I’m studying to be an applied mathematician and I naively expected it to become more and more axiomatic. I’m really interested in foundational mathematics, foundational logic, and the philosophy behind language, thought and conservative systems. This is good to be here in America where this type of inquiry is admired and supported but in a place like Ecuador, Applied Mathematics is needed for obvious reasons. People need to keep the ball moving and work to keep the country running and expanding.

Judaism. Well, whether I’m halachic jew or not, mitzvahs are mitzvahs. The more I adhere to, the closer I am to G-d. I think I want this, need this, believe this. The spirit is a collective. I understand my definitions. I won’t get into it here.

Priorities: #1 Do great in school, #2 Have money flowing in through GOOD work, #3 Figure out my beliefs and start to work my life around that, #4 Figure out what I want to do and start working towards it.

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