Obsession.

I realized I have a very common obsession. I’m obsessed with people and their achievements. It must be very common since everyone loves to hear a good story about success. Isn’t it also the reason why biographies always get the New York Times Bestsellers and make to the top of International Must Read lists? My obsession seems almost at another level. I’m more interested in what others have done than what I can do. Actually, I live through these authors. This is why I feel like I’m so smart. I read so much of other people’s achievements and name drop that it makes me feel as if I’m part of the achievement, when in fact I’m just an imaginative little boy who swears that he’s good enough to be one of the greats.

I very well good be a bright kid only noone will ever know because my grades suck and it’s because I feel like I’m better than the work presented to me. The number one cause of that is my obsession with the achievement of others. Isn’t it funny? It all makes sense to me now.

Anyway, change of procedure. I will write about my accomplishments. I’m going stop reading about the accomplishment of others. I have enough theory. Now I just have to start implementing. This is always my problem but with more practice and focus, I’m sure I’ll start getting closer to the person I want to be.

My way of thinking has changed. It’s feeling more permanent. That’s awful. I feel myself becoming old. I have to decide what kind of adult I want to be, quick before it’s too late. It starts a step at a time… What’s my first step?

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